?

Log in

poop on you

> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> profile
> previous 20 entries

Thursday, June 29th, 2017
4:16 pm - Glasses & stuff

So a couple/few weeks ago he showed up on the unit with his glasses on!

Read more...Collapse )

(answer)

Monday, May 22nd, 2017
10:12 pm - Long time

I still miss him. Of course he came in on a Monday....to assist with a c-section. We saw each others couple of times and the he came up to me today hey. I know he has to miss me a little.....or at least the attention I give him. I really miss him & love him. I'm trying to distance myself & be patient. Also trying to let him focus on his family.

(answer)

Saturday, March 11th, 2017
2:14 pm

Not sure why I'm journaling.

Read more...Collapse )

(answer)

Tuesday, March 7th, 2017
9:51 pm

I pray that God will give me a clear sign. I feel horrible that I'm so in love with this man. Yet everything is so blurry. I know I'm in love but that doesn't mean he's meant for me.

(answer)

Sunday, February 26th, 2017
9:53 pm - Church/weird

So today I saw him singling in the choir & then he did the scripture reading.

Read more...Collapse )

(answer)

Friday, February 24th, 2017
9:44 pm - Sadness

My heart aches for him.

Read more...Collapse )

(answer)

Friday, February 10th, 2017
9:42 pm - Contact

I can count the 3 (oh!

Read more...Collapse )

(answer)

Sunday, February 5th, 2017
8:07 pm - Stuff sorta

I feel like I wanted to post something about him before my last shift with him.

Read more...Collapse )

(answer)

Saturday, January 7th, 2017
12:50 pm - Sadness

Apparently his Colorado vacation got cut short this time around due to his mother having multiple strokes just before the new year.

Read more...Collapse )

(answer)

Thursday, December 22nd, 2016
6:24 pm - 2016

So.

Read more...Collapse )

(answer)

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2016
12:21 pm - Thanksgiving -almost

Remember last year when he "ate my pie?

Read more...Collapse )

(answer)

Monday, October 31st, 2016
11:35 am - Forgiveness

I can't stop my feelings & I can't stop judging myself.

Read more...Collapse )

(answer)

Wednesday, October 5th, 2016
8:53 pm - bi-polar monents

I don't understand what his deal is. Yesterday I had a delivery with him & he hardly spoke to me. Today I went in to catch a baby in his delivery .....which ended up being a naughty baby & he never said one word to me. This is all after he specifically requested me to help him one on one w/His Cerner order sets.

Why is he being this way? So frustrating. But it makes me a little angry too.

Sometimes hate men.

(answer)

Friday, September 2nd, 2016
12:57 pm - just sometimes

I wish I could just keep my feelings to myself.

Read more...Collapse )

(answer)

Monday, August 29th, 2016
9:43 pm - I dunno....

Yes, it's about him.

Read more...Collapse )

(answer)

Sunday, August 21st, 2016
6:07 pm - missing you

This sucks. I've seen him once in the last 5 weeks since I got that text. I miss him so much. I wonder if he misses me. Is he over it since we haven't seen one another? Or he's just a guy & ae to compartmentalize & he's working on saving his marriage. I seriously can't wait to get to work & see him. I just hope that he wants to see me too. I can't stop loving him. I've tried for 2 years. And I know he's been attracted to me for over 2 years. He literally & figuratively grabbed my attention. And now this. He gets to have control the entire 2.5 years. He started it & he (well she) ended it. Fuck. I can't wait to see him. I hope his parents are doing ok. I don't even know that info. Ugh! How do you make yourself stop loving someone? Especially when you don't want to?

(answer)

Friday, July 29th, 2016
7:35 pm
I know we've gone longer without out talking or seeing one another.....esp in the last 2.5 years that we've been attracted to one another....but I miss him. I can't help but wonder if he misses me. It's been 5 days now since we've texted. Longer since we've worked together. Even though I miss him....I'm hoping I don't see him at work prior to going to michigan. I want him to miss me. A lot.
We were becoming inseperable in a way. Addicted to one another. I truly love the man.

(answer)

Monday, July 25th, 2016
1:35 pm - Is it the end?
Honestly, my heart is broken. T & I have been texting. A lot. Last 2 months we don't go more than 3 days without contact. If I don't reach out, he does. Mostly about his parents declining health. I've been there for him. As a shoulder anyway. I feel privileged that he trusts me enough to open up about some of his feelings & just what's going on with them. Including his disappointment that his family vacation had to be cancelled cuz his father fell & couldn't use his legs...so he had to stay & be his mothers care taker. But everything changed last night. I am
nervous & sad. Is everything going to come to a complete halt? Is this the end? Or maybe just for now. How do I act when I see him next? Normal? Distant? How is he gonna act. My friend Brandon says it's all business from here on out. He's probably right. T is such a good man. I know that even if there are many problems and he's not happy, he wants his marriage to work. He's got so many other things bringing him down, his parents health, his kids all about to leave the house & who knows what else.

(answer)

Friday, July 15th, 2016
10:22 am
We hardly talked or saw each other wed night. I know he still likes the attention but part of me feels as though he's pulling back some. I'm just gonna follow his lead. When his text ends with "have a good weekend" & it's Thursday morning I guess that means don't text him. Or I'm just sensitive & reading into it cuz that's what I do. However, he's more passive aggressive than I am ... Or at least he has been in this whole thing in the last year & a half. I don't think I'm going to see him for the next month. My schedule is opposite what he works & he's leaving for Colorado but as soon as he gets back I'll be going to michigan. Sigh..... I really want this man. So so much. I don't want to tell him. I'm not going to. I refuse to express my feelings. He's not that type if guy either so it's gonna either fizzle out or he's gonna have to be the one to take the next step. I hate how he lures me to make all the moves. That's why I was shocked that he touched me on the 4th. I haven't touched since we've started texting. I want to. I just want to know that he wants me too. I have to back off.

(answer)

Wednesday, July 13th, 2016
12:45 pm - Torn
Everyday is a struggle. We talk/text almost every day. If I don't reach out to him, he reaches out to me. We are becoming inseperable. I love & also hate how drawn to one another we are. He's depressed... From what I gather it's about the aging process & the thought of losing his parents. He's opening up to me. He talks to me & tells me about his adventures with his youngest daughter. I know he trusts me because It appears as though these are sacred people in his life. I feel as though we are developing a friendship. I still pray for strength to let go & walk away. It's just getting harder. As time goes on & the more we talk & text....the more I want to be the woman waking up next to him every single morning. I feel we both struggle with our attraction & try to distance ourselves at times but then like a magnet we are pulled together with a strong force/desire.
I'm kinda bothered by my feelings. Tonight I work & I don't want to. I don't want to face him. I don't want to try & ignore him. I just don't want to see him or work with him for awhile. I think it might help. On the 4th we worked night shift together & it sucked. At one point at the end of shift at 530 am I thought my pt was going to be a c/s & he asked if he thought my doc would ask him to assist. He said if she needed him for me to just call him. When he said that he placed both hands on my shoulders & kinda rubbed them. This man does not touch people. I have not touched him since we started texting. All I want is to touch him.
I love that he likes when I'm his nurse for his patients. I just love how much we long for each other but we can't do anything about it.

(answer)

> previous 20 entries
> top of page
LiveJournal.com